You can’t think your way out of anxiety.
You can’t talk your body out of survival mode.
As both Gabor Maté and Bessel van der Kolk have shown,
Trauma is not just what happened to you — it’s what lives on inside you.
In stress, burnout, shutdown, overreaction, or a constant state of alertness.
Nervous system regulation is the process of slowly, gently returning your body to safety — over and over — until it learns that it no longer has to brace itself.
🧠 Why this matters:
When we’re dysregulated, even small stressors feel enormous.
When we’re regulated, we don’t stop feeling — we gain the capacity to feel safely.
That’s what these tools are for. Not to “calm you down.” But to give your body a map back to safety.
🔄 What dysregulation looks like:
Feeling constantly “on” or overwhelmed
Numb, detached, or emotionally flat
Irritable or easily startled
Trouble sleeping or resting
Digestive issues, pain, or brain fog
Overthinking, looping, or indecision
Being reactive when you want to be responsive
This isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a nervous system doing its best to protect you.
🛠️ Tools to help your body regulate:
🫁 1. Physiological sigh
Inhale deeply → take a second short sniff → long exhale
This reflexively slows your heart rate and oxygen demand
Just 2–3 rounds can shift your state within minutes
🧊 2. Cold exposure or sensory grounding
Splash cold water on your face
Hold an ice cube or place a cold pack on your sternum or cheeks
Helps interrupt panic spirals by activating the diving reflex
🧍 3. Movement-based reset
Gentle shaking, walking, rocking, dancing, or stretching
Trauma held in the body often needs physical motion to release
Doesn’t need to be intense — rhythm is often more effective than force
🤲 4. Somatic anchoring
Feel your feet press into the ground
Hold your own arms or place one hand on chest, one on belly
5–4–3–2–1 grounding: name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear…
This tells your brain: I am here. I am now. I am safe.
🧘 5. Safe stillness or co-regulation
Sit quietly with someone who feels safe
Pet an animal, rock in a chair, or wrap in a weighted blanket
Regulate with another nervous system before trying to do it alone
As van der Kolk writes: “We heal in connection.”
🌱 A trauma-informed approach to regulation:
Stillness can feel threatening to people with a freeze history
“Just breathe” can be triggering if your breath has been a battleground
Regulation isn’t just calming — it’s renegotiating power with your body
You don’t have to push through. You can move with.
We don’t expect these to “fix” you. We offer them to reintroduce you to yourself.
💡 The bottom line:
You don’t need to earn rest.
You don’t need to explain why you feel like this.
Your nervous system already knows.
And you can learn — slowly, safely — how to work with it instead of against it.
This is part of your healing. And it’s always welcome here.